There Is Strangeness in the Universe: 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

We All Search For Something

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need

-- The Rolling Stones

Friday, December 4, 2009

OSHA to Regulate Pole Dancing Industry

Washington, D.C., December 4, 2009.

The U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) today announced sweeping changes in how the burgeoning Pole Dancing Industry will be regulated. According to a press release issued today, the Administrator of OSHA stated that this industry, which uses scantily clad women often with long flowing tresses, presents an occupational hazard to performer and patron alike. It has been known for some time that the centrifugal force of 110 pound bodies swinging wildly on brass poles exerts an unacceptable risk of elbow and upper arm muscle injury. The often climatic sliding toward the audience on the dancer's knees can cause knee injuries requiring extensive arthroscopic repair. In addition, the occasional accidental release of twirling bodies can lead to unintended 110 pound projectiles being hurled into unsuspecting audiences of often alcohol impaired individuals.

As a result, the Administrator of OSHA has promulgated strict regulations as to the many safety measures that must be followed by workers in this industry. OSHA inspectors will be fanning out into every sleazy bar and "gentlemen's" club to assure that these regulations are enforced. Violators will be subject to fines of $50,000 and prison of up to five years for every performance.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

NYTimes.com The Local's Cartoon Caption Contest Number 20 Winner Announced

THE WINNER FOR CARTOON CONTEST 20 IS:

Read about the winning caption here

Captioneers, you got an exclamation point from the discerning man in black (robes), our co-blogger and caption judger, Andy Newman. To be specific, he says, “whoa. these 2 are excellent!”

Congratulations to first-time winner Jim Cavanaugh for this caption:

“I come in peace, how about you?”

And to runner-up DCN, who is fresh off a recent win himself:

“While I’d prefer a full pardon, I’m also prepared to do battle.”

Jim, check your in-box for prize details. DCN, I’ll get yours to you shortly.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

NYTimes.com The Local Cartoon Caption Contest Winners for Numbers 18 and 19

THE WINNER FOR CARTOON CONTEST 18 IS:

Read about the uncontested winning caption here

From The Local October 28, 2009:

And congratulations to Mod for her uncontested entry to our last caption

AND, THE WINNER OF CARTOON CONTEST 19 IS:

From The Local November 17, 2009:

And now for the winner of the previous contest … (Thanks to Andy Newman, for judging.)

"When I took this job, the recruiter told me to bring my own arsenal of cost-cutting tools."

Congratulations to DCN for his winning caption! Check your in-box for prize details.